Sixteenth Race

[gingerspeedster]

[ Voice - Warden Filter after the Doctor's comment ]

I know that time works differently on the barge, but it's hard to get comfortable knowing that trouble's waiting back home. I never really appreciated before how hard some of the wardens here work, knowing that lives are at stake. It's so weird not being able to call Linda and ask how the kids are doing. I know how they're doing, but it's not the same.

How do you guys do it? Sit around all day, reading or going about your business, knowing that while you're stuck here trying to do a long job, the people you care about are dead or dying all the time?

Comments

Private

[subtlescience]

I suppose it helps that there is no one I care about "dead or dying" and there is no "back home".

Private

[gingerspeedster.livejournal.com]

That would make the stay easier, yeah. I guess that would mark you off the list, though.

Re: Private

[subtlescience]

Lucky me.

[most_feared]

It's damn hard sometimes. I have someone's life I'm working for, who can't live otherwise. Less stuff happens here than at home, anyway, so it's mostly the people I miss.

[gingerspeedster.livejournal.com]

It's the free time that kills me. If I could just make time move faster, get this redemption business done in my time...

[ He laughs a little despite himself. ]

I never was very good at being patient.

[most_feared]

I usually have time limits for everything I do. I don't think I've been on a job this long in... [since Laurana] a long time, I'll put it that way.

[championoftime]

I've nowhere else to go, myself. I know some future version of me will be tending to matters and I see this as an excellent chance to carry on.

[Private]

Perhaps you should consider how this must read to your inmate. His warden seeming to find him an obstacle, his best friend a murdering madman who would probably be his first comfort.

Do be careful, please. [He sounds worried.]

private;

[gingerspeedster.livejournal.com]

You're right, it's probably not the best thing for Drake to be seeing. I thought Arthas had turned over a new leaf or something, though?

private;

[championoftime]

He still brandishes threats and a very hostile intent. It concerns me, and even if your inmate could be a positive influence on Arthas, I would hate for the reverse to occur.

You do miss those close to you considerably, don't you. I thought you had friends aboard?

[rass-bestie.livejournal.com]

Well, let me assure you, talking about it most certainly does not help. [Not that he's got family or anything like that to be worrying about it, but Narvin's so invested, Braxiatel incredibly invested and Rassilon is destructively invested, kinda makes Omega invested by proxy.] I just work. Whatever issues that are at home, I work to fix them as best I can from this distance. [Which basically amounts to weapons' design.]

[gingerspeedster.livejournal.com]

That's probably the best way to do it. I'm guessing you're the type who doesn't like to talk about your problems?

[rass-bestie.livejournal.com]

No, I'm sorry. I just… people in my life are… invested on keeping this one thing, a cataclysmic event, from happening and I dearly want to help them, so that puts some amount of pressure on me and thus I'm invested too and it's likely not possible to prevent it. I had gotten it out of my head and then your post brought it back into focus. Hence my rather abrupt response.

Warden Filter.

[yourunichase]

[Sorry you get pissed off Parker. Bad week.]

People like you always bail in the end so do your inmate a favor and get it out of the way now.

Warden Filter.

[gingerspeedster.livejournal.com]

I'm not about to let my kids die, so no, I don't think I will. Why does everyone have to be so judgmental without even getting your facts straight?

[perfectnanny.livejournal.com]

Some of us do it merely because we have no such situation hanging over our heads. However, I do empathise. It is difficult for anyone to leave loved ones and dear friends behind.

[gingerspeedster.livejournal.com]

It's hard to do the right thing by someone when it draws out someone else's suffering.

[strangehistorian]

We go back and no time has passed.

I am patient.

[gingerspeedster.livejournal.com]

Patience is a long-standing problem for me, I guess.

[strangehistorian]

[Giggle.]

It's alright.

Private; Voice.

[some-kinda-hero.livejournal.com]

I had to come to terms with that back home. Here or there or wherever, they're going to die. Without me.

[Pulls in her lips.]

I dunno, it's been so long since I arrived I just...try to forget. I focus on the Inmates, my Inmate. I focus on my new family and friends here. Here, I can help. Here, I make a difference. Has to count for something.

Private; Voice.

[gingerspeedster.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure I can forget. And I'm not sure I could forgive myself if I did. It's easier when there's something to talk about, something to do, something to focus on. These quiet days, when there's nothing? I just keep thinking about them, waiting for me, not knowing if they're going to live or die and waiting for me to shift that balance.

Private; Voice.

[some-kinda-hero.livejournal.com]

So come find me on those days. We'll try to figure something out. Walk Chester or go to the CES or the greenhouse. I'll help when I can, Wally. S'what friends are for.

private;

[fivestepsahead.livejournal.com]

Because this isn't just a job to do.

private;

[gingerspeedster.livejournal.com]

Then what is it?

private;

[fivestepsahead.livejournal.com]

You hold a person's life in your hands.

Think about it, West.